B.Løvetann

This part of my story is a difficult one.

It is a long chapter. A chapter that, while I was living through it, felt as though it would never end.
This was where I would learn that the choices we make can have consequences we could never have imagined. That naivety, trust, and our own mistakes in judgment can lead us down paths that take a very long time to find our way back from.
A lesson I will never forget.
That summer, I was going to a festival with a friend. We spent almost all our time together. We were single, enjoying dating sites, flirting, and having a lot of fun.
I had no intention of finding a boyfriend.
I just wanted to have fun.
I still remember the moment I signed up for Møteplassen and clicked “pay.”
I thought:
I’m going to regret this.
I had no idea just how right I would be.
One day, my friend and I went swimming. While we were there, we saw a tall, handsome, well-built man.
Later that evening, I took one of my usual trips around Møteplassen.
Suddenly, his profile appeared.
I recognized him immediately.
I have to admit, he seemed a little strange from his profile, but I sent him a message anyway.
By the time we arrived at the festival in Sweden, I had received a reply.
His messages were a little strange. Slightly disjointed.
Then he wrote:
“I like girls who are smart, funny, and beautiful. You are two of those things.”
I quickly replied:
“I’m funny and beautiful, so all I need is a pair of smart shoes and I’m there.”
Apparently, that was the comment that made him interested in me.
When I came home, we met for the first time at a party at his house.
For most of the evening, I felt almost invisible. He talked more to his friends than he did to me.
But the moment the party ended, everything changed.
He kissed me and carried me into the bedroom, although not much more happened that night.
We had one major interest in common:
Working out.
We often trained together. Before long, we were spending almost every day together and talking every single day.
We talked about everything.
And I became more and more consumed by him.
I was head over heels in love.
He was amazing.
He worked as a nurse at the hospital. We laughed a lot, had fun together, and I was completely lost in him.
He showed a great deal of interest in me.
And I was flattered.
Our conversations grew deeper. We talked about life and the things we had experienced. He was curious about my friends and the people around me. About who I really was.
He asked for my opinions.
He wanted to know more.
And I fell even harder.
But some of our conversations slowly began to take on a different tone.
One day, he asked me how many people I had slept with. Whether I had ever slept with any of my male friends.
I don’t remember exactly how the conversation started.
But I remember the feeling.
I lied.
Because lying felt easier than telling the truth.
I remember his reaction.
I remember it very well.
He became angry.
He wanted me to write down the names of everyone I had slept with.
Name by name.
He also demanded that I cut contact with my best friend because I had lied about when we had last been together.
I did what he told me to do.
Stupid me.
I hoped it was just a phase.
That it would pass.
Another time, I told him that I had once been pregnant and had an abortion. I explained that my health wasn’t good enough for me to have more children and that I had become pregnant despite using contraception.
I didn’t want to tell him who the father was.
That was my choice.
My story.
But the truth came out anyway.
It turned out to be someone he couldn’t stand.
That was when he exploded.
His voice grew louder. His words became harsh. He shouted at me and became furious while I stood there, completely confused.
I didn’t understand what I had done wrong.
I had only told him my story.
Eventually, he stormed out in anger, leaving me alone with the chaos inside me.
After a while, he came back.
By then, he had calmed down.
His explanation for the rage was that I was “too good for that man.”
He said he had thought I was better than that.
I found it so strange.
He wanted to know everything about me.
And I had only been honest.

To be continued…