B.Løvetann

At last, the anxiety has started to settle down.

Today I was at work. I overslept, of course—what a disaster. I get so frustrated and disappointed with myself when that happens. But that’s how today turned out.

After work, I grabbed a coffee with a colleague before heading home. Once I got home, I sat down with my work schedule and wrote all my shifts into my notebook. Just doing that gave me a little more sense of control.

And if there’s one thing I’ve underestimated, it’s how wonderful it is to have meals more or less ready when I get home. I can simply sit down and enjoy a good meal. I love it. Meal prepping is a great investment in my time. It really doesn’t take that long, and it gives me the feeling of having more time and more energy.

Lately, I’ve spent a lot of time focusing on my inner world and my mental health. But I’m beginning to realize that it doesn’t help much to focus only on what’s happening inside if everything on the outside feels chaotic.

So I’ve decided to give a little more attention to my external environment. Maybe a more stable outside can create more peace on the inside. And with that peace, I can continue working on myself.

I honestly think that’s exactly what I need right now.

If I get myself a wall calendar where I can write down all my work shifts, I think I’ll feel much more in control of the practical side of life. It will also make it easier to swap shifts in advance if I need to.

It’s no secret that working three different jobs creates a fair amount of stress. But maybe better planning can make my weeks feel a little easier.

Predictability is important to me.

The problem is that I’m terribly bad at creating it for myself.

But I’m working on it.

I want to spend less energy on chaos and more energy on living. I want a life that flows a little more easily, where I have enough energy for both myself and the people I care about.

What I struggle with the most is being consistent. Sticking to routines, even when I know they make life easier.

As I often say:

I’m pretty lazy when it comes to being active. 😅

But maybe it isn’t really about being lazy.

Maybe it’s simply that good habits take time to build.